Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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