Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
