he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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