anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
