I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
