This dress was meant to end up on your floor
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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