Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
