Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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