Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Fuck appropriateness.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
