is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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