she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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