YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
