Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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