I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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