I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
