I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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