Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
