Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
