so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
PANTIES FOUND
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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