Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
