he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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