i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
