the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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