Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
