woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
