My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
