You just made me feel so damn special
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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