we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Randomize
