After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
