I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
