Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I have tasted many bathrooms
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
