i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
