I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
