oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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