yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
