Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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