note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
