There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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