It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
