fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
