the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
