Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
