I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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