she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Success! We fucked roommates!
is it fun? or sober?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
