Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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