my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
