do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You don't make any sense
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