Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
