Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
