if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
